As His servants, we pay attention to how we react to slights and hurts, because we realize that wherever we are being self-protective or irritated, we most likely do not yet possess a servant’s heart.
-Elisabeth Elliot; Be Still My Soul
This summer has been a true test of my heart. I’ve been struggling with my pride; it has been vicious. It has roared up like a lion and for a while completely took over my heart.
But Jesus is working on me. He is teaching me that hard, hurting lesson of humility. It’s crippling, being knocked to your knees over and over. Yet, I am so very glad He continues to knock me off my pedestal. To know that I have a God who is so much BIGGER than I am, a God who will continue to redeem me, even after I fall. That is a comfort. And I trust my progress to Him.
With that said, I notice my selfishness and sinful nature coming out more and more in how I respond to people and situations. My response is of irritation, annoyance, and anger! Instead of grace, mercy and love as I am called to respond. It breaks my heart. I long to remember what Elisabeth Elliot said. I want a servant’s heart, but I believe that I am far from possessing one yet.
So Jesus, work on me. Make me more like You.
God is more interested in our response than He is in the tangible result. – Elisabeth Elliot
“That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, “No future bliss can make up for it,” not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say “Let me have but THIS and I’ll take the consequences”: little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of the sin.”
-C. S. Lewis; The Great Divorce
Do you not know? Have you not heard? Yahweh is the everlasting God, the Creator of the whole earth. He never grows faint or weary; there is no limit to His understanding. He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless. Those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength.
-Isaiah 40:28, 29, 31a
Sometimes I forget that God is God and He is in control at all times. My circumstances don’t change that. My feelings don’t change that. My environment doesn’t change that.
He is SOVEREIGN.
I know this; now I must BELIEVE IT.
Jesus, renew my strength.
I’m running on empty…
In the midst of struggle.
Struggling to remember all the good God can do through this move.
Struggling to remember all the good God has done in the past.
Struggling to keep foremost in my mind that God has only what’s best for me in store.
Struggling to look at things through His eyes, knowing in the end it will be good.
And ultimately, struggling to remember that God is the same God here, as He was in NC, TN, and PA. He is a GREAT God. He is a God of peace and comfort. A God who will not leave me. A God who will be my joy and my strength and my fortress to run to when I’m scared. Because I am scared.
I’m terrified of this new season of life.
When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands
Your hands that shaped the world
Are holding me
They hold me still
-JJ Heller; Your Hands
Our perspective of purpose will determine how we live.
We are each given a purpose, a calling. Glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Fulfill your purpose.
Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.
I’m actually beginning to look forward to this journey, this season of change. I’m trusting you, Jesus.